The Storm

(This took place on Tuesday)

Today.was.wild.

And I want to remember.

I should have known. There were signs everywhere that today was going to be odd--something was up. It was a lot like the feeling one gets when a severe summer thunderstorm is coming. Things are just a bit off and the atmosphere is different. Baby R woke up at 3:30 to eat (which is odd) and again at 6:45. When she finished, Toddler O was up, so T kindly took them downstairs so I could get a bit more sleep.

"A little sleep, a little slumber..."

I woke up much later than planned and started dressing for a church luncheon. Baby R was asleep and the big kids were mostly dressed and ready to head to town. Looking at the clock, I realized that we were in a "tight spot" for nursing. It was time for R to eat, but I decided that since she was happy, I'd to put off nursing until we got to church.

Everyone was loaded up and I just could not get out the door. I kept forgetting things! In and out, in and out. My sunglasses were hiding somewhere. We finally got on the road, flew through McD's for the kids lunches and by the time we reached the stacks, Miss R was M-A-D. We pulled in to the church parking lot which was particularly full and parked VERY far from the nursery entrance. Baby R is a 45 minute nurser and by then it was really too late to nurse if I was going to get everyone dropped off and in the nursery by the time the luncheon was starting. Thankfully, I had a bottle on hand.

We unload from the car, I get everyone's happy meal in a bucket in their happy hands and we head towards the nursery from the far reaches of the parking lot. Halfway there, I realize we'd left the emergency formula in the car. We turn around and go back to the van. Did I mention that baby R was STILL crying?

By the time I herd all the crew down to the nursery, get screaming baby R settled in with a bottle and the big kids in their rooms, I was a bit frazzled. Someone asked how I was doing and I just laughed. It had been a morning!

But that was only the beginning.

After the luncheon, my plan was to put a movie on the portable DVD player and nurse R in the car. It had been six hours since she'd last nursed and may I say it was time?

The clouds were gathering and the winds were blowing while I was at the luncheon. When I picked up the kids, everyone was fine except J. "My waist is hurting!" He kept saying that again and again. On the way to the car, Toddler O fell in the parking lot and hit his head on the concrete. A lovely scrapped goose egg was popping up on his temple/forehead.

Then the storm hit.

By the time we got to the car and had everyone strapped in. J was crying and repeatedly telling me his "waist hurt". Miss A waited until we reached the car (parked a hike and a half away from the church) to tell me that she needed to use the bathroom.

I don't know what other moms with lots of kids do in these situations, I really don't. How do you safely send a kid to a bathroom without getting EVERYONE else out of the car?

I checked J for a fever and looked at his belly which was distended. No fever, but I could tell he was really in pain, so we drove to the nursery entrance, parked in a handicap spot (I NEVER do that, but desperate times, folks) and I sent A to the nursery entrance to use the bathroom. Naturally it was locked and she couldn't reach the buzzer, so she had to run back to the car. I left my other three in the car on Pinehurst and dashed to let her in, then dashed back and had to turn right back around because she couldn't get the bathroom door open. I'm trying to call the pediatrician at that point and I'm on the phone running back and forth between the van and the door like a crazy lady. I propped the bathroom door open with a garbage can so she could get out and ran back to the van to make sure no one had stolen our lovely eggplant of a nine-year-old-Sienna (I hear they're a real hot ticket for car thieves-heh).

Quick call to the pediatrician and left a message with the nurse. Quick call to T for help and advice. By then A is back in the car and we are heading down State St. Since it made no sense to head home, we started driving towards the Peds office in Flowood. I called again and got the receptionist and begged them to work us in. It was 1:50 and there was a 3:00 available.

Now we are on the way down Lakeland, J is crying, I haven't nursed in seven hours, I've got a toddler who needs a nap and a mercifully compliant four year old. Not only was the thought of J being really sick  overwhelming, there were three other kiddos to care for, feed, etc. It was a logistically crazy moment. It was time for most folks to pick up kids from school and for the life of me I couldn't think of anyone to call on for help. T couldn't leave work, so I was on my own.

PRAYER!

I called one of my prayer warriors, Sheila and filled her in. Just then J goes from crying to SCREAMING. I would have turned on my flashers and floored it down Lakeland, but traffic was too packed for speeding.

We reach the Cheddar's and J is begging for the bathroom. By the time we get to Chik Fil A it is too late. The plan to nurse in the car before the appointment was out.

We park at the Peds and I get everyone out, plus my nursing pillow, nursing cover, diaper, purse, and a jacket for J (why?). Oh, and R is in the carseat. We were quite the spectacle.

J goes straight to the germy bathroom and I sign us in and take O and R into the bathroom, leaving A in the waiting room.

Everything gets even more interesting at that point. J's pants are ruined and the turkey was going commando (!). O gives up his pants for the cause, so now I have one child stinking up the bathroom, a toddler wearing a T-shirt and diaper, a four year old who has no idea where we are (oops) and a baby who is waking up and ready to eat.

A kind mom brings A to the bathroom who simultaneously informs me that she didn't know where we were and that the bathroom stunk. No kidding. The receptionist locates a bag to put the stinky stuff in and I leave J in the loo and take R, O, and A back into the reception area.

R really needed to nurse right then and the only private area was in the newborn waiting room--since I had no idea what we were dealing with germ-wise and didn't want to expose any newborns or leave J completely alone, my only option was to nurse very publicly.

I'm a bit modest about public nursing, but that was the least of our concerns at that moment, so I plop into a chair, boppy and all and start feeding R in the well child area, while A and O (in a diaper and T shirt, mind you--no shorts) frolic merrily around the fish tank with the children from the SICK CHILD waiting area. I was beyond caring at that point and had moved from tears to laughter. I called T to check in and we both started laughing that at least DHS wasn't going to intervene because they were the group he was leading through our team building course right then!

When the nurse comes to take us back, I have to quickly re-dress, decide what not to take back with us (I mean, one small exam room, two adults, four children---there's just not much room for the carseat and boppy at that point, so I left those things and the bag of stinky stuff), herd O and A up, call J out of the bathroom who comes out wearing a pair of khaki shorts two sizes too small--they could either be described as hipster or skimpy, I'm not sure which. Naturally the worst has passed, so J is all cheerful and smiling, the others think its a big party and are all trying to be weighed on the scale at once and I'm completely oblivious to the fact that I still have my name tag on from the luncheon and the nursing cover draped as jauntily as a parisian scarf . . . .

"It was really awful--he was screaming . . ." I say this rather pleadingly, trying to sound credible to the nurse, who missed all the fun and was, I'm sure, thinking I'm some kind of drama mama.

Our pediatrician is always and ever wonderful and examined J, talked to us, joked and diagnosed constipation. The pain? Bowel cramps. The solution? Miralax, Miralax, Miralax.

The storm began to clear at that point except for R squalling at the check out.  We nursed in the car outside the office, while the big kids listened to Lord of the Rings. I figured if we were going to buy Miralax, we might as well do it at Target, so we spent a blissful thirty minutes in Target enjoying some retail therapy and left with new play-doh for everybody and a Venti Iced Latte for me. (If any day this expenditure was justified, I figured this was the day) O still had no pants on.

By the time we got home, it was time to nurse R again. J went to play a video game (again, totally justifiable at that point), A was busy with play-doh and O was sound asleep on the couch. T called to check in on us and everything was fine, dandy and sunshiney and calm. Just like after a storm.

In fact. It was so calm it was almost as if it had never happened.

But it did. And I want to remember.

Long, wonderful days

This is one of those mishmash posts. Ay yi yi, there is so little time for blogging these days! I wrote the birth story of our sweet baby R out, but need my husband to proof read and fact check it before publishing, because so many details are blurry! I will say that it was a wonderful labor, delivery and hospital experience. God has been so gracious to us! Here go the random things on my mind:

1. Life with four: Mercy. We are loving it, but tired. Going from one-to-two-three had their own challenges for us, but were not super difficult--HOWEVER, four has been the kicker. Our little R has certainly had us scratching our heads at times and wondering what in the world was going on. After one crazy, trying day, I was blow-drying my finally washed hair at midnight if only to feel human long enough to crawl into bed. : ) Recovery has been more challenging, getting things back in order and keeping the family in somewhat order has also kept us on our toes. I'm thankful for my grandmother who has stayed with us a good bit and helped me get desperately needed rest. Also thankful for: casseroles from our SS class, a loving husband, and sleep training (I say this as I duck my head and wait for people to start screaming at me through their monitors--but rest assured there's little crying and lots of eating going on now that we are sleep training).

2. Life with four: Bliss. As challenging as these days have been, they have been so, so sweet. We have savored and reveled in these newborn days, because by now we are really understanding how fleeting the time is. T and I will just stare at Little Bit after her last feeding, soaking it all in and hating to put her down. We are also enjoying the big kids as well. J is SIX and I can hardly believe it. A is loving being a big sister and Mr. O has become exponentially more cuddly and fun. They are all crazy about R and love to hold her and keep informed of her activities.

3. Life with four: Disasters---the house is on a rotating wreck schedule. If I were to divide homekeeping into four quadrants (upstairs, downstairs, laundry and exterior/auto),   I can safely say only 1/4-1/2 of the quadrants are acceptable and the remaining ones are chaos. I'm outnumbered and nursing and have to confess that I stayed in my bedroom a little bit more today than I should because the upstairs was at it's best and the remaining 3/4 were sketchy. We have also left home with shoeless children and suffered embarrassing crying sessions in department stores.

4. Life with four: Aging. I need intensive moisturizers on my face, my hair is drying and I'm not sure if the lightness is highlights from the summer or premature gray that graces the women in my grandmother's family.

5. Life with four: Homeschooling. I LOVE homeschooling--even in the midst of all the madness. : ) Our days are a bit more helter skelter than last's year's orderly mornings, but the kids are doing fine, learning lots and there is more independence in their work this year. Miss A is flying through her Sing Spell Read and Write. I'm trying to keep up with her.

 Additionally:

6.Thomas the Tank Engine is a lifesaver---O has taken to it like wildfire at just the right time! Whoo-hoo. He has a nest behind the couch where all the track is stored and it keeps him busy. The Take Along track is the best!

7. Whatever happened to staying in the hospital/bed for two weeks after baby arrived? I vote we bring that back. Hospitals should have a spa/swingbed unit. Amen?

8. I'm really pondering turning the kids rooms topsy turvy and creating a play/school room and having them all in the other room with clothes storage. T is ordering wood for bunkbeds today.

9. Although he's about to have knee surgery, if you ever need something built, I highly recommend my husband. He does great work and can make just about anything!

10. I'm reading the Odyssey as part of an online classical bookclub. I'm usually a speed reader, but old Homer is slowing me down.

2012: The Summer of UP

I was texting a dear friend yesterday and was talking about how I will forever remember Summer 2012 as "The Summer of Up." Where to even begin!?

Perhaps with an apology as this is one of the corniest things I've ever written--even though I speak in truth and from the heart!

I certainly had my own expectations of what camp would be like this year and the Lord continually surprised me--and it all begins with up.

For starters, I was pretty "Knocked Up" this summer, going into camp around 31 weeks along. I realize that "knocked up" can be slang for unintended pregnancy with a boyfriend, etc (and given my Iphone's auto-correct tendencies, you've all been wondering about Ryan-lol). However, bear with me. Pregnancy and camp is quite challenging and interesting--from hormones to aches and the limitations, to the fun of having 75 staff following your progress and even placing bets on the arrival date. : )

That alone was interesting, but out of the blue and in the middle of camp, we found ourselves: "Throwing Up", "Laid Up", "Drugged Up",  and "Cooped Up" thanks to everything from stomach bugs, pink eye, fever viruses and a back that went out. It has been wild. I cannot begin to describe how crazy life has been with camp+sickness and injury. What would normally be a mildly inconvenient time of quarantine and recovery is multiplied when the whole family would much rather be at camp with the staff and campers.

At this point there were times when I bordered on being rather "Fed Up" as I struggled with contentment in times of Providentially ordained interference with my plans and sin struggles. God didn't just send frustrating circumstances, he also kept me struggling with sin this summer. Caedmon's Call had some lyrics about, "I had to laugh, because the same old struggles that plagued me then are plaguing me still." Yes and no. I discovered this summer there were victories over old sins and a multitude of new struggles and battles to be fought--all beginning in my own heart and stemming from my own sinful nature. While they were only amplified by crazy pregnancy hormones, the showers of grace God also gave give me such encouragement that He has not failed me and is continuing to do the good work he promised to do!

The Lord gave such contentment with each obstacle--even in moments of tears and "how can we deal with this now!?", contentment would gently wash over me. Psalm 121, which I've been meditating on in preparation for the baby's birth has also been useful in daily life this summer:

 lift up my eyes to the hills.

From where does my help come?

My help comes from the Lord,

who made heaven and earth.

 He will not let your foot be moved;

he who keeps you will not slumber.

 Behold, he who keeps Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep.

 The Lord is your keeper;

the Lord is your shade on your right hand.

 The sun shall not strike you by day,

nor the moon by night.

 The Lord will keep you from all evil;

he will keep your life.

 The Lord will keep

your going out and your coming in

from this time forth and forevermore.

We've also been "Lifted Up" this summer--time and time again. The delight of having a prayer partner who I can call or text at any time of need has been sweet (Thank you, friend!). God has blessed me with a sister in Christ who knows very particularly the challenges and joys of camp life and is willing to listen and pray for me. Not only that, the body of Christ in general has lifted up prayer after prayer for us and also practically served us again and again. The camp staff have been the hands and feet of Jesus to us as they've spoken kind words, loved on our kids, chased our wayward toddler, returned our wayward toddler and chased him again. We've been encouraged and built up by the very people we are called to serve. It's humbling and so encouraging!

So this summer we've been knocked up, throwing up, laid up, drugged up, cooped up, borderline fed up, but always lifted up and by the grace of God never did we ever give up.

And fortunately we weren't held up either.

Slow Progress

Have you ever started a status on Facebook and realized how it was so trivial that you should instead insert it into a blog post? Ahem, well, I've never . . . .

We are 38 weeks, 1 day. My Doc is going to Haiti next week for a mission trip and last week offered the option of induction this week. T immediately said no and I felt the same way, but prayed about it and was worried there would be a good bit of pressure from him today to consider it. I'm grateful he accepted my refusal so kindly. There were a LOT of reasons why we said no: my mom is having a cochlear implant surgery on Friday (!), we weren't sure if J's fever virus was done with, we are training O to stay in his bed right now . . . . but the bottom line is we want the best scenario for our sweet girl.

Miss A was induced around 38 weeks and had the easiest, breeziest, most painless of all our deliveries (went in at 5:30, delivered at 9:30)--THEN she went into the NICU and spent five days there because she wasn't ready to be born.

I'm willing to wait and take the chance of greater personal discomfort or having a baby "too big" or my doctor in the country for the sake of giving our girl the best possible scenario for delivery--I am so, so grateful for medical interventions and care, but I want to avoid the slippery slope that can occur when you begin intervening here, then there, then there.

Come 40 weeks, I am open and willing to induce. God knows if we will make it that far and if he sees fit to bring her on, so be it. Every week brings a waxing and waning of different symptoms, amusements and discomforts.

This particular week I cannot get full. It's crazy. I am also having such weird issues with the lower ligaments that I can no longer carry laundry up and down the stairs or vacuum. Giving up vacuuming is hard. I tried today and my right ligament would not cooperate with my right ligament, whilst my left arm had NO strength to push and pull the vacuum that seems to have doubled in weight. I LOVE to vacuum, so this is no copout. We are going to require domestic vacuum intervention as my kiddos seem to multiply tiny pieces of paper all over the house.

Coming Attractions

As crazy as camp life can be, I am honestly enjoying this time of relative peace and quiet, because the more I think about what is ahead in the next weeks and months, the more I begin to quiver in my Chacos.

Consider:

Baby #4 due July 21st, possibly arriving anytime

J begins soccer in August--two practices and one game a week (we've NEVER committed to anything like this before)

Ramping up our homeschoool curriculum with the addition of history and science

Starting back our Friday homeschoool program in September

T's brother will be getting married in Japan late September--we are hoping that T and I (plus a newborn) can go, or at the very least, T will get to go.

T has ACL surgery scheduled the first week of October which means six weeks minimum recovery and twice weekly physical therapy (since this is the right ACL, he won't be able to drive for about six weeks--mercy)

We don't do busy and this is going to be CRAZY! I may be a nutcase by Christmas. Thankfully it our tenth anniversary is December 28th and since T is not going to Peru this year, we might get to have what will then be a much-needed vacation!

I'm going to savor these last two and a quarter weeks of camp and hang on for dear life in weeks to follow! You can pray for us. : )