26.4.08

World's lies

"still there." I want to instead plunge right in with an epiphany of late. You see, I had fallen for the lies of magazine publishing. Silly as it is, I really sort of subconsciously believed for a while that if I could only get my house clean, pictures hung, and things somewhat decorated I would be like those women in the house magazines who stand in their kitchens next to bowls of fruit and fresh cut flowers from their cutting garden and smile adoringly at little children who are eating fresh baked cookies. Of course I would be wearing capris, clogs and perfect hair.

At the very least, I thought that once my house was cleaned (all at the same time), I could at least do other things and have it stay that way. O, futility! Sometimes when I'm done with a cleaning spree, I sit down or sprawl on the couch/bed and just enjoy the wonder of it all. But then I look and see something out of place and I think: "that little mess is okay, it keeps my house from being too clean, too staged." So, I leave it and next thing you know the whole house has gone to pot; much like the wisteria behind our house. And a cutting garden--ha!

Perhaps one day when my children are older (and there are less interruptions), I'll conquer my own lazy personality and have a house that stays neater. I'm sure it can be done now--but it's so stinking hard! Honestly, although I can't stand nastiness, I often would rather do other things than tackle housework and messes. Or, providence will throw a curve ball and everything gets crazy. Or, just as soon as I get started on things, someone needs to eat, be changed, be loved on, read to, disciplined--and that's okay. These days are short and littles ones are more important than pristine housekeeping. And when Tuan comes home and wants to hang out, who could say no to that?!

So, heres my plan: Quiet time, husband, children, people first. Laundry and camp, next, Housework later--although it must be done. Someday down the road, I'll have household help (in the form of paid legals and children) and of course make some forward progress in discipline. Then, I will stand in the kitchen of my clean, sparkling house with flowers from my cutting garden, fresh baked goods out, an in-progress watercolor of Tuscany nearby (because isn't that what all watercolors should be of?) and small children wearing smocked garments will be next to me. Then, I will smile and wake up.

I have to go. Johnny is using the tub-cleaning sponge to clean his hair and licking the shower curtai

1 comment:

Alli said...

That last sentence says it all about the way things are going lately, doesn't it? ;o)

I know exactly how you feel, minus the children. It feels like, seeing as I'm not working these days (and school doesn't always take up all my time), that I should have an immaculate apartment, keep up with my bread-baking, prepare gourmet dinners for Mike and myself (particularly because we're trying to stop eating out), and stay in perfect shape. FAT CHANCE!

I agree with you--people (and kittens in our case) first, school and work next, housework last. Mike helps out when he can(and when he notices, some things just go over the heads of most men I know...), and life goes on.

Sometimes I think the futility of such things are God's way of reminding us what really IS important.