Observations from Today

When you have babies and toddlers and older parents tell you that parenting gets harder (but in a different way) it can be so hard to believe! How can these days get any more challenging and exhausting? I have surely asked that!

Today I had a taste of the mental exhaustion of parenting.

While driving J to school, and on the way to pick him up I had lengthy conversations with each older child.

J wanted to know why I wasn't pushing the accelerator which led to a lesson in cruise control, highway and interstate names, speed limits and was followed by a lengthy prosecutorial question and answer session about where I hit the deer with the van, how, why I hit the deer and why I didn't sop and bring the deer home. How did I know it wasn't dead, why didn't I stop, again? By the time we reached school I was done in.

The way in for pick up we discussed whether princesses were real, why some were real and others not and which ones were legit. On the way home I repeatedly stated that no, we were not stopping for a snack and would have popcorn at home. (Apparently one must state that at least eight times before it sinks into persistently hard noggins!)

We also pulled over to the side of the road and I physically got out of the car and stood by the window of the six year old and explained that it is not acceptable to throw a fit because your siblings watched tv while you were at school. The sting of writing the hefty check to pay for the semester may have had added to the passion of my conversation. I mean, really, after a day at school, playing with good friends, eating pizza and cookies with icing, you're gonna complain because you missed a few episodes of PBS kids? (In a weak moment I fell asleep on the floor during Daniel Tiger and woke up to Sid the Science Kid, so it was more than a few episodes....oops!) As a result of our conversation, there was no tv today and may not be tomorrow as I was frequently informed by the six year old pizza and iced cookie eating kid that he had not had any fun today. Yeah.

Mental exhaustion. Brain flooded with talk. I'm a thinker whose brain never really stops so quiet time rejuvenates me and too much of everything causes a shut down of sorts.

Anyway, not to complain, but merely explain!

Oh, then in the midst of this after I dropped J off, I decided that since I was child-free for a moment to get a good cup of coffee for the homeward commute and ran into Broad Street. (I also got a killer croissant, but that's another story.) I walked in around 8:20 and there were all these adults drinking good coffee, having subdued conversations and eating good pastries and baked goods. There was not a small child in sight. A man from church said hello and said they'd just finished a Bible study time. Another older friend was holding court with a table full of friends. My jaw dropped. PEOPLE DO THIS ALL THE TIME!

Oh, yes. My jaw dropped. It was an epiphany similar to when a young child wakes in the middle of his slumber and discovers his parents (no, not that!!!) and friends up late playing board games and eating fresh baked cookies or peanut butter pie and realizes that really fun things happen while they are asleep.

It was an eye opener really and like Liz Lemon, "I want to go to there".

Of course, that is not the reality of my calling these days...much as I would occasionally wish it to be! But one day I will! Like the couple that ran around in their skivvies at home for weeks after their youngest left for college, just because they could the first few weeks of R's freshman year you may find me at Broad Street every morning drinking coffee and eating a chocolate croissant just because I can. I'm sure I will do something profitable the other hours of those days and after those weeks, but at first...!

But until then I will listen, listen, listen and answer repeatedly and hug my kids and change epic diapers and remind them repeatedly of how much I love them and how much more Jesus loves them.

And find there's a lot more satisfaction in that than spending my mornings at Broad Street.

Looking Ahead....2013

This has been quite a year, but I'm thankful for so much.

Thinking about the year to come, I'm using the word "more" a lot. Personally, I'm hoping for:

1. More grace, patience, long suffering and forgiveness extended towards others.

2. More joy in trial and annoyances.

3. More serving and loving those in need and trial.

4. More Hospitality

5. More relationship building

6. More margin. More staring at the clouds and stars.

7. More cuddles, more singing and more playing with my children.

8. More loving, helping and treasuring Tuan.

9. More family time with our extendeds.

10. More prayer.

11. To be more like Jesus.

12. More exercise and time outdoors.

13. More reading.

Save the Mums!

A few years ago, I was visiting with a gardener friend who was showing me her garden. I commented on the beautiful mums in one of her beds and she nonchalantly informed me that they were leftover from the previous fall's decorating.

What!?

I had just assumed that potted mums were a one hit wonder , that should be thrown out when Christmas arrived. No way!

After Thansgiving, chuck your pumpkins, haybales and cornstalks in your compost piles and stick those tired old mums in your flower beds. Choose a semi-sunny spot. When they seem to die off, cut them back almost to the ground and leave them be until next spring. They'll start growing back in May and be blooming by June.

Faithfully water them, cut them back in early Summer so they don't get leggy and snip off spent blooms. Come September, you'll have a jump start on your fall decorating!

So, save your mums! Don't throw them out! At the very least, give them to me!

Getting Ready!

T's surgery is next Tuesday, first family for Thanksgiving arrive on Wednesday with the next batch of guests on Monday! We are hosting Thanksgiving and will have a minimum of five cooks cooking all week.
It's lots of fun, but our kitchen had reached a state of deplorable disorder. Today is dedicated to getting things in order, so no one has to ask where things are or what is what.
I was inspired by Edie of LifeinGrace who did an incredible 31 day series on hospitality.
Today's goals: 1. Dedicated beverage center for coffee, tea, cups and glasses. It's next to the fridge--brilliant (!). 2. Baking center with all the staples labeled and close to the bowls, mixer and oven. 3. Tidied up spice cabinet and 4. A Cleaned out pantry.

I also treated myself to brand new glassware. It was a minor splurge at Walmart that has made a HUGE difference. Seeing the non-scratched, shining everyday glasses on the shelf gives me a domestic thrill every time I pass by. I'm also less embarrasses to offer folks a drink! I also bought a package of new dish towels at Sam's. They are a great value (24 for 12.00) I never use paper towels in the kitchen, so our towels take a beating and were pretty grungy. The old ones will go to the storage room for really nasty and outdoor work. Here are some photos of the ( very much still in) progress:

Finally . . . A Project!

For months--14 weeks--to be exact, I have been itching to do something creative; to move furniture; to totally throw the whole house in chaos. . . . Having a newborn however pre-empts that. It's really just surviving that first bit+the other three kids+soccer and, just, life!

Tonight, I finally got some of that itch out. We moved all the kids (excepting R who is still in our room) into one bedroom and turned the now spare room into a school room. I have had this recurring dream that I find a spare room in our house. Although this is not quite the fulfillment of that dream, it is kind of like gaining a bonus room!

We have a small-ish house which I LOVE. I like small space living a lot. However, the reality is that there is one dining room, one living area, our laundry is in the kitchen and there are no bonus spaces. So up until now school happened at THE table. The one we breakfast at, lunch at, have company at. This meant that after breakfast we pulled EVERYTHING for school out and whether or not we were done at lunch, EVERYTHING had to be either stacked all over the dining room or whisked away. And being sort of laid back (and a bit lazy) and loving naps, the thought of picking up with lessons after lunch (and dragging it all out again) was enough to call it quits for the day.

Now that we have a dedicated space, it will be much easier to run down for lunch mid-math lesson, leave everything out and after lunch get right back to work--at least I hope so! We can also let Mr. O nap in his own bed and J can still play with his toys.

We are putting the kids in the smaller of the two bedrooms because it has a bigger closet for clothes storage and the schoolroom will also serve as the play room. The kids are excited to be together and have a play room. Miss A has gotten this idea that the playroom is going to have a ball pit. Yes, indeed. A ball pit. This cracks me up because of the idea of it and the fact that no matter how many times we explain that, no, we will not have a ball pit, she keeps on believing.

Things are not really "done" yet, but I thought I'd share pictures thus far because it's been so fun to work on this. The pictures are all leftover from the boy's occupation. After T finishes the bunk beds, the black desk will probably go into the kids room.

 Looking in the door. Yes, that's a trampoline. I guess if you have a trampoline in your bedrooms, there's no reason why a ball pit doesn't make perfect sense!
The curtains really need hemming. Also, the beloved German Shepherd needlepoint is crooked! Gasp.

 Here is another view of the table. This table was in our first apartment and house. I had forgotten it was in the attic (I know, right, I hate it when people are all like, "I had furniture in my attic that I forgot about and we just pulled it down and it worked perfectly for us" and here I am doing just that). I had not forgotten about the chairs, though. Love these girls and am glad to have them back in use. Stink! Another crooked picture!

The blue bookshelf is called "the Library" in our house it holds all of the little children's books. We have a mate for the blue bookshelf that is in our room right now. Whenever we find a piece of furniture for our bedroom to replace it, I'd like to put the other shelf beside the kitchen. Now that J is beginning to read, I'd like to have the big kid stuff more accessible.

 Almost all of our toys but the Thomas track are in this room. Miss A has my old dollhouse and all the doll "stuff" is kept in the drawers below. She is a bit of a messy housekeeper and her domestic sphere is rather dismal.Wonder where she gets that from?

And the closet . . . blergh. It needs some serious work--mostly another shelf to separate school stuff from toys. It's very visually bland and I'm only sharing it because 1, I always wonder what's behind closed doors, and 2. Maybe it will motivate me to do something about it!

That's the schoolroom so far. Still a few things to move into the room like games, puzzles. I'm very excited that with the holidays coming it it will be easier to host folks and keep up with schoolwork. I'll try to post more as we do more.