I bet you think this post is about you.

Isn't it funny how out-of-the-blue things come into your life in spurts, and then disapear?

The Carly Simon song, "You're so Vain" keeps popping up in my life! I don't think I've ever actually heard her sing it. I only know it because Liv Taylor did a banjo version of it on his great hit, "Songs that Should Never be Played on the Banjo." Anyway, it's popped up on the 'net, in conversations and I picked up a CD the other day that had it. Perhaps God is trying to tell me something?

Yesterday, Johnny was being a "poisonous viper in a covenant diaper." In short, he was an especially sinful little covenant
child. I said something about, "O, he's just full of sin like the rest of us." My Aunt replied, "naahh." I wish I'd pursued the conversation, but it ended there. Later, it lead me to think through the concepts of original sin and how the idea that a baby being a sinner (and the full implications of that) could be a terrifying thought depending on your presuppositions. I believe that the Bible teaches that I am no more capable than a baby of willingly turning and believing in God. Salvation comes entirely from Him. Surely, if God can change my wicked heart and draw me to him, he can do that with a baby!

I was writing all of this not to spark a debate about infants and salvation, but because ultimately, I was reflecting on how our presuppositions affect our entire outlook on the world. Lord-willing, the Bible is at the root of what I believe and I think that affects my political views, too. Take for instance the whole idea of poverty and wealth. It seems liberals want everyone to be comfortable and get an education, but God forbid they should make too much money with that education! Granted, I want to be comfortable and I definitely have "caviar taste on a beer budget," but ultimately, whether rich or poor, I know that I deserve none of my blessings! I also know where my treasure lies.

It also makes me think that totally free enterprise doesn't produce humane results. There have to be laws to ensure that employees are treated fairly, because man is sinful and without guidelines will ultimately do what is most profitable for him, and not his neighbor. Along this same vein of the sinful nature, I am convinced that world peace is impossible. Even if the whole world were converted, until Jesus comes back there will be no peace between man and man. Not even in his church (as we have daily proof).

I'm sure this is full of error and fawlty logic, but these are the thoughts of a flawed human being! Let me know what you think, reader.

Fail-safe cookies.

The other day when three of our church kids were over here, Abby decided she wanted to make cookies. Abby didn't like chocolate or oatmeal (my standbys) and we had pretty limited ingredients on hand. Voila! It was time for "Paula's Favorite Peanut Butter Cookies." That's what the recipe in the Collins Pres Cookbook is titled. They were a favorite from childhood, are absolutely easy and fail-safe, and, they contain NO FLOUR! I know some folks can't have gluten, etc . . . So these are a good thing for them. Organic, all natural PB works just as well as cheapo GV PB. Tuan, the kids and myself devoured them! Here's the "receit."

Paula's Favorite Peanut Butter Cookies

1 cup peanut butter
1 cup sugar
1 egg

Mix and drop by spoonfuls onto a greased or non-stick cookie sheet. Flatten cookie and bake for 10-13 minutes in a 350 oven. They don't brown, but do make sure they don't overcook and dry out. I cooked mine a little over 15 minutes because I was too impatient to preheat. : )

Inspired by Caroline, I made a Simpson's avatar of Tuan. Wouldn't it be fun to do all of the TL staff?

These past few weeks, I've been resting, cleaning and especially mothering. I was briefly sad when camp ended, but having a change of pace for seven weeks made coming back to everyday life so sweet. It has been wonderful to play with Johnny, read books whenever he wants, play "piggies" with his toes and go to the pool without having to worry about camp duties! Even the first grocery run to wal-mart was fun. I was thinking to myself: "I am at wal-mart and am not looking for fifteen cases of gatorade, ten containers of tennis balls and a ph test kit for aquariums--I only have to buy milk and eggs--this is great!"

We move out of our house on August 15 and into the lodge--that's when renovations begin on our house. I've designed the kitchen and am so excited about it! Imagine, having a kitchen just how you want it to be! I feel very blessed. I began packing the other day (we have a lot to store) and am trying to leave out essentials. All of our glassware got packed, with the exception of a few mugs and some asstd plastic cups. Yesterday, out of desperation, I drank milk from a coffee mug. This was a huge moment for me. I NEVER drink milk from a non-transparent glass container, nor do I drink anything but hot beverages from a mug. That's one of those things that personally disgust me to the core. The glass thing is due to paranoia about the cup being dirty and me not realizing it until I drain the last drop. That happened at a friend's house once. They were scrupulously clean people but the cup had some dishwasher residue in it and, well . . . there you go. As for the mugs--I really dislike mugs (even ones that match my dishware).

We had kids from our church out yesterday for a before school bash (john, abby and camille for those of you who know them). Mrs. D. kept Johnny in the morning and I took them swimming in the pool and the lake. It was really fun to have them. I laughed a lot and enjoyed having a chance to play with older kids. We also went for a golf-cart ride and they played Uno and canoed with "Mr. Tuan."

Johnny stayed with my Mom and brother last night (they are up at Melissa's) and I was planning to sleep in--wouldn't ya know, I woke up at 7:30? There are some things I've been wanting to do that aren't so easy with Johnny, so today I'm going to go to the library, run errands and maybe even brave the Hudson's on Terry Road (scary).

Where does dispensational housekeeping fit into this? Well, I've been a little lax about wiping down my cupboards and mopping my floor lately. I mean, they are about to be torn out and destroyed, right? I was telling Zack Owens about this new philosphy and he compared me to a dispensationalist who doesn't worry about social justice/work because Jesus is coming back really soon. (something like that) So, for another 13 days, that's just what I'll be: a dispensationalist housekeeper.

Riding the Wave

Wow. Two more days until all of the Summer Stafff arrive. I can't believe it's almost here. We've had sort of a pre-training week this week as the horseback staff, some ropes folks, and some R/A people have been here, along with Scott and sundry others. I came into the week tired, but today I feel (physically) like camp has just ended. That's not good! I was doing pretty well, until a terrible allergy attack, followed by medicine that knocked me down and then kept me up all night before falling into something resembilng sleep around sunrise. I am so thankful Mrs. Dorothy had stayed the night with us. She kept Johnny while I tried to nap and fulfilled a few obligations. I'm taking Sudafed which dopes me up almost as much as zyrtec, but without it my nose would be running like an elf (unlike the dwarf-like runny nose which is a natural sprinter and only lasts a short while--see, I told you I was drugged up). So anyway, here I lie, with a dirty house, program to run, laundry to wash, cookies to bake and two days left. : ) Perhaps this is a blessing in disguise as I am physically resting, if nothing else.
This will probably be my last post for a while, so I wanted to share a few prayer requests with readers and lurkers, alike. It used to irk me when folks would share "unspoken" requests, but I actually have two that I can't detail except for this:

1. Pray for a situation with two friends. Pray for wisdom, sanctification and healing.
2. Pray for me about a situation. It's relational.
3. Pray for our church. There are several things going on under the surface and it seems that any little thing is about to just make things explode.
4. Pray for camp in general, but specifically for me: that I would not neglect my primary responsibilities/joys (Tuan and Johnny), that I would be wise in decision making, that I would really get to know the staff and that I would truly minister to campers and staff this summer. (with my job, it is easy to just view staff/campers as a mass that you move around in order to accomplish the task)

Thanks for all your prayers!

The allergy attack yesterday was begun by something indoors, but then I went horseback riding and that really got it going! I don't regret the ride at all, because some very good things happend for me personally. Several years ago, right before camp, I was riding with some staff and we were galloping down the levee. It was exhilarating, but then I realized my saddle was loose and I was leaning far to the right. Having heard some stories of previous staff who had stayed in the saddle and ended up under the horse due to a loose saddle, and not feeling confident of stopping in time, I decided to jump off. I ended up in horrible pain and had to ride in the ambulance to the hospital.
I've ridden many times since then, and it's been fun, but approaching even a canter has been nerve wracking (especially in open spaces). On yesterday's ride, however, everything changed. I had a good, obedient horse (gandy), for one and we ended up leading some on Twin Lakes road. Trotting in the lead, then slipping into a canter (although only for a few seconds) and being able to slow down because I said so (not because the other horses were) was a huge help. Finally, we reached the levee. Ashleigh, who is such a good friend to me, suggested that I canter on the levee. (Talk about recreating the scene--scary) It was now or never. I agreed and (leading, again) let Gandy go.
Now, for an experienced horseperson, all this was nothing, but for me it was huge. I made it down the levee trotting and cantering (Ash says we galloped a bit, but I think she was just being nice) and passing the spot, I almost cried. How incredibly freeing it was to do that and I absolutely cannot wait to ride again and do some more.
Sonny, Ry and some others raced on the levee and down Twin Lakes road--talk about a beautful sight. Ry, especially, since he was riding Boo bareback.
So that's enough for now, please, please be praying for us!

gulp

Gulp. There are forty-two odd days until staff training begins. I have so much to do before then it's not even funny. Noah is our theme this summer and we are turning the TL barn into an ark. One (only one) part of my job is filling this ark with non-live animals (Matthew is taking care of the live ones, thank goodness). Tonight, I drove through the barn and kind of realized how big it is. I mean, it's huge! I hope that Scott, and the support staff are ready for what lies ahead! Please, please, keep me in your prayers. Program is a lot of thinking and planning, teaching and then executing and that has to take second place to Tuan and Johnny. Somewhere behind that is housework, etc . . . although not pre-eminently important (to me, at least)--it surely makes life nicer. There's a lot to balance. Someone was trying to get me to take on a separate project and I just had to say, "sorry, I'm swamped." It's hard to say no, when you want to seem like you've got it all together, but necessary.

So, I ask for your prayers. Please pray that I would place a high priority on prayer and seek God before I tackle these projects! Please pray that God would give a lot of grace between Tuan and myself as he is about to enter a SUPER busy season. Please pray that I would be a good mother to Johnny and that he would thrive during camp. Please pray that the staff would just embrace Noah and get the gospel message that is in it. Please also pray that the gospel would be taught/seen through all this stuff and that I would place a higher priority on that than program perfection.

It's amazing that Johnny will be eleven months tommorrow! Wow. Anna V. had her b-day party today (she's two!) and it just seems like yesterday that I was at her one year old party. Johnny is changing so much and every day is more and more fun. He has learned to say star and to point to my nose. He is also trying to walk. Wow.

Today, after the party, Johnny went down for a nap and I had intended to do some more housework (should have been doing program!), but all of a sudden I was possessed by the urgent desire to paint. "PAINT!" said my inner voice, and I frantically ran to and fro, gathering supplies and searching for a subject to satisfy the urge to "PAINT!" I found a photo of Johnny at the beach with my aunt in the background taking his picture. As I've written before, I never took painting in college and am trying to learn how to now. Today, I was very methodical (but loose, Caroline). First, I used a grid to get my proportions right and to do a pencil sketch. I wanted to focus on value, so I worked from a black and white photo. The first layer of paint, I blocked in light/dark and forms, using colour. Then, I worked on background to foreground and then began to zero in on applying colour to my subjects. As a result, the painting is very vivd and high contrast. I'm really happy with the way it is going and plan to post pictures of it on Monday after I finish it. When I took "drawing two" we did everything in pastels (which I loved) and my teacher forbade the use of black. (this, I believe is a wise thing--except in graphic design--but even now I have an aversion to using black type, I usually go with 90% or less). I love getting dark-darks and shadows out of colour combinations (particularly red/green). It irks me when people use black to do shadows.

Aren't I silly? Anyway, it was a blessed afternoon. Johnny slept long and hard and then played well while I finished up. I was able to paint for about 3-4 hours straight. Tonight, after supper, I was able to work on program, while Tuan cared for Johnny.

Oh, and in between all this, I'm reading Jane Eyre again (it's been years--and I don't remember much about it). Personally, I don't care for her as a character. She rather annoys me. I'll write more about this later when I finish the book.

Lastly, happy birthday to my dad!! He's fifty (but still cool). Dad, I thought about you all day. Hope you had a good one.